My mind is preoccupied with trying to give up. The situation is a lot like with the cigarettes – I gave up some time ago (quite recently but I’m not one of those who put a big red cross in the diary marking the date so not sure when it was) and I’m doing quite well. Ok, there have been some occassions when I had thoughts about having one but they went away when I explained them patiently to leave me alone. There also have been moments (at the very beginning) that I had a little drag. It tasted really disgusting. Lack of nicotine? I’m quite happy I’m lacking it as I can breathe again and walk faster than a turtle without gasping for air. Missing one after food? Well, this one IS a problem but I’m getting used to it. And the longer I do it for, the easier it gets and I’m starting to actually taste food! And my teeth are becoming less brown! And my clothes don’t stink and people don’t move away while talking to me! I know those who get really stressed after quitting. As if the little white stick with some shit inside had some relaxing qualities. They make me laugh. At least if it was herb that DOES have relaxing qualities – oh, smoke away please – I don’t mind people chilling and being happy! But cigarettes?! What do they make you do? Cough? Be tired? Have headaches? So, all these people who are so extremely upset after giving up – they have not given up at all. They lost with the stupid cigarette AND, most of all, with themselves.
Coming back to the “situation”. So now I’m “a smoker”. Poisoning myself and letting “the cigarette” slowly but surely kill me. And it’s killing me with pleasure. It’s making me believe that it is my decision/fault that I’m inhaling the smoke, that I have no choice, that I will never be able to give up and that there is no other options nor chances for me.
I have managed to give up smoking. I really have.
6 comments:
jupi
i can't focus my mind today, i'm to angry or sth.
sth for U?
'don't give up'
sometimes giving up is the only right option though...
ja usiłuje give up picie zbyt dużo alkoholu
Yeah, i cannot imagine myself how it is to give up poisoning own lungs, but i'm observing it on my friend, who have just bet that he won't smoke till end of year.
Watching him getting more and more stressed, hearing him speaking about cigarettes and 'giving up theories' and imaging him with a beer in one hand and NO ciggarette in the other is a funny fealing :)
Give up smoking, find yourself better addiction ;)
I've done it! I've given up! :) Smoking as well...
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